Kiss Me Too Fiercely
by Elphaba Fiyerobert
Summary: Ali Bababert/Wicked/Adommy/Angiebert. Angst, rape, suicide, abuse, mental cruelty. Written for MShadows, and using her ideas as well as my own
1. Chapter 1

**Kiss Me Too Fiercely**

**Chapter One**

**#Adamtakeoffyourshirt**

**25th May 2013, Vienna, Liveball Charity Event for Aids.**

Adam had been looking forward to this for so very long now. To give something back to the masses, to spread his good fortune among those who needed it most. To use his fame for good.

Aids was very close to his heart, friends of his had died of it. A long slow lingering death full of pain and misery. He'd held their hand in the hospital as they had drawn their last breathe.

There for the grace of God, who whoever, be he. That he would never forget, how lucky he was to be clean and safe. He had had a scare a while back over a slightly shady tattoo he had done overseas, but thankfully he was clear. He was far more careful after that accident.

Vienna was so exciting, he had dragged his best friend Sarah along with him so he wasn't alone after the break up with Sauli. The long nights alone in his hotel room usually ended up badly. He had asked Tommy, but the boy was moody so much lately. He wasn't entirely sure why either. Whatever he said or did the blonde was ripping his head off. Locking himself away with Brian working on his own music while they were not touring.

That hurt him deeply, he hadn't even known Tommy was recording until he has seen the posts on his twitter about it. He felt like he was losing his best friend. Constantly worrying that TJ was going to give notice and just leave. He wasn't sure if he could handle that. Tommy was the only original band member left now. It felt like everyone he loved was just slipping away from him, leaving him all alone again. He didn't wanna lose him, but he didn't know how to express that desire in words before it was too late.

Sarah knew something was bothering him, but he wouldn't admit. This was her very first time seeing him live. Adam smirked at that thought, tonight he would be taking her Lambert concert 'virginity'. He loved kinky thoughts like that, he truely was as perverted as his fanverse. He loved that, and so did she. They had known each other long enough now, back as long as Hair. He'd never forget that dreary day they had met in Birmingham. Lost touch after a while, but she had found him again at Glamnation and they had been emailing ever since although they rarely had time to meet with the time zone differences. This weekend was a rare treat for them both to actually be together.

While Adam drifted in and out of hair and make up, dress rehursals and costume trials she was busy eying up the 40 hot half naked thieves. Not that he wasn't doing exactly the same thing, freshly single that was certainly a sight he was loving.

Hell he'd been asked to play dress up in a fab costume, storm out on a catwalk like some top model, dance around with 40 damn sexy semi nude guys in leather and bondage masks. DAMN! He hated his job some times! He chuckled to himself. He wouldn't mind taking some of them to bed if he could just choose one, that was the hardest part.

Finally a break from the rehursals, Adam slipped off the coat, hanging it up. Beautiful, but so damn heavy with all the brocades. He came to find Sarah eying up the hawks that would later be used in the show. She had always loved birds of prey, he'd seen her being taught to fly one earlier. Now she had a glove on with the bird resting on her arm. Feeding it scraps of meat. He put his arms around her waist kissing her neck. "Having fun babygirl?"

Sarah gave him one of her radiently beautiful smiles, "Oh hell yeah!" Letting the guy take the little ball of feathers back to hood and cage him for now, sure she could steal it back later.

She looked so happy finally coming out of the dark depression she had been sunk into since her break up. So scared that her ex would come after her and hurt her again. It had taken Adam a long time, but he was slowly teasing her back out of her shell. Teaching her to live again.

He was so glad that he had dragged her along with him. She'd lost her job, was in huge debt from the break up, but wouldn't let him help her stubbornly. She never asked for anything from him, sometimes he wished she would. What point was the money if he couldn't help those he loved? She had needed this break, thankfully she had agreed when he offered.

"So which of the thieves do you fancy?" Adam asked.

"Oh number 41 all the way, he is just dreamy." Sarah winked hugging him tightly.

"Oh Sarah, you smooth talker. Are you trying to get under my bababert costume?" He asked.

"I'm just hoping for a little chestbert before the end of the night!" She retorted.

Adam shook his head checking his phone as it buzzed, staring agast at what he saw. "Sarah Lousie Stevenson, why is #adamtakeoffyourshirt trending at number three world wide?"

"Only three?" She asked, "I must try harder. Its gotta be trending at number one by tonight."

"You wicked little girl! I'm gonna spank you so damn hard for this!" He cursed.

"Gotta catch me first!" She grinned running off.

"Oh you little!" He growled running after her laughing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Kiss Me Too Fiercely**

**Chapter Two**

**Flash Doesn't Matter.**

Eventually Adam had caught Sarah when she was hiding in the costumes. Well more like eying up some of the dancers ballgowns. He had a mental note to take her shopping and buy her something wonderful tomorrow, she deserved it. Plus it was shopping, what wasn't epic about that?

They play fought, went for some food, and she had lurked back stage in her pretty amazing medieval gown of hers, while he strutted his stuff on the red carpet. He had offered to drag her out with him, but she was too shy shamefully. He would have enjoyed having a sexy lady on his arm. Certainly the press would have had a field day trying to work out who she was. They always did whenever he dared to be seen with a friend, worst of all a female friend.

That was one part of his life that he really did hate and didn't really want her to be a part of. Adam dreaded losing her friendship because of the press. She was one of the few people who saw Adam, not just the Lambert cancer that was his life. Wanted the man, not the glory. He hoped they knew each other better then that, then again the press had done worse things to him in the past. Taken others he loved dearly from his side.

Adam offered up a silent prayer that he would never loose this amazing woman. He couldn't survive the pain, she was his best friend, his raison d'etre, his sexy Simona Cowell and boy was she not scared to fucking rip his head off if he didn't proform at his best.

He didn't listen to the press, the haters or most of the fans, but dear odin if Sarah said something he shut the hell up and listened. She was always right, made him a better singer. Hell a better person just for knowing her.

When Adam came back from the carpet she was looking uncomfortable, nursing her drink and wall flowering watching a certain Angie Miller getting wasted that he was meant to be dueting with for Titanium very soon. "Oh hell!" He muttered, seeing Sarah go over to shout at the girl with her usual bitch mode engaged.

He saw Angie getting shitty with her, and storm off to drink even more. Annoyingly he got pulled into an interview and lost sight of them in the crowd. He really needed to sdee if his friend was okay and control that idiot idol girl before she screwed the night up completely.

Adam shook his head, some people just didn't know how to handle the fame. If you are gonna get drunk then at leasy do it sensably so you can still proform afterwards! He had been trashed loads of times, but not passed the point that he could do his job. He wouldn't do that to the fans. That Angie girl looked like she was about ready to pass out.

So wrapped up was Adam in his own thoughts that when asked by the reporter what he thought was his sexiest feature? He stumbled out with mouth. Mentally cursing himself afterwards for the lame remark. Sarah would kick his ass he was sure for that one. Ass, eyes, glambulge anything would have been better then that!

When the interview was over he grabbed Angie to one side. "Whataya think you are doing? You have to sing in an hour!" He demanded.

"Having a good time, you aren't my father so BACK OFF!" Angie snapped.

"No, I'm not, but shit like this will ruin your career and make you look stupid. Get some coffee and sober up fast." He warned.

"Get lost, I do what I want not what some gay idiot says." Angie said pushing passed him.

"Sober up or I replace you don't think that I won't do it." Adam commented.

She laughed, "Oh right like you can find anyone else to cover me and know a song that fast!"

That was a very good point he had to confess, who would know the song well enough? He brooded on it as he went into hair and make up for his costime fitting. Well there was one person, but could she do what he would ask of her? Once she had been a great singer, until that bully had destroyed her confidence.

Adam wished now he had never let her stay behind for love when he went for his break. Really that was their break, she had worked just as hard as he had to get there. If anything she deserved it more for helping him get over his nerves or he could never have been what he was now.

How much cake would he have to bribe her with? Could she get over her new insecurities and fears of proforming and help him? Only time would tell the answer to that question.


	3. Chapter 3

**Kiss Me Too Fiercely**

**Chapter Three**

**Wicked Bababert**

Sarah watched the crowd with a growing nervousness, this wasn't her kind of thing at all. She didn't know a soul here apart from Adam. Everyone was friendly enough, but she just felt so out of place. Even in her sexy medieval dress and heels Adam had treated her to.

The drinks were flowing freely around her, so many people, so much noise she could hardly breathe. Large groups of people scared her, things had happened over the last two years that had destoryed her soul.

Trying to consentrate on her drink she saw that idiot Miller girl getting more hammered then ever. Defending Adam she had stepped in, but the girl had been a total bitch, she didn't deserve her fame at all. She still even had a cheatsheet for the words. Sickening after they had already proformed it on stage for the idol finale.

Annoyed and trying not to cry Sarah tried to consentrate on the show. Limited in any of the conversations not speaking the language. Even so she was drawn into the show with a strange fasination, such beauty, the costimes, the entire show. The smell of the grease paint and the fake smoke. Damn did it take her back to the old days, awakening things inside her she had thought long dead. She felt a familer excitement rising inside of her like the old days she used to rock out with her best friend on open mile nights.

That was it time for sexy bababert. Sarah moved closer for a better view of it all. Oh my god he was amazing! Slamming it, strutting, belting the lyrics for all he was worth. She thought over the years she had grown immune to his charms, but clearly not. Three seconds into the song she felt like she need one of the joked about glambulances to take her away.

Adam wasn't just sexy he was smoking hot and those 40 sex slaves were only making that even worse. As he passed her and winked with that oh so sensual smile she had to suppress a moan at him shaking his ass. She had always crushed over the man, but right now she could drag him off the stage and have her wicked way with him.

Love was far out of sight  
I was unsatisfied  
I wanna do it right  
I need to love tonight

That's why I open up my bag and let it go  
Blow my cash up big and hit the road whoa  
pots of gold won't do little brother  
if ya don't share your love with one anotherflash don't matter  
love wins over glamour

That oh so sexy voice making her insanely turned on. Damn it why did he have to be gay? Then again weren't all the keepers? She'd believed in love once, but not anymore.

Sarah watched until the end and went for a long cool drink to recover. Feeling like some horny teenager needing a really ice cold shower. Waiting to see when her baby would be free to see her, picking at a piece of cake not really wanting it, but bored in the talking section she couldn't really grasp the meaning of. Hopefully some more dancing would start soon to hold her interest a little better.

Adam shed Bababert for something more his usual style. Leather trousers, black top, leather jacket and went to look for Sarah. Brushing passed Angie who looked even more the worse for wear. Throwing up into a plant pot in the background. "You are fired." He said calmly.

"Fuck you, you can't replace me! I'm an Idol star!" She screamed.

"Just watch me." Adam commented, striding over to Sarah and pulling her away from the crowd. "I need a big favour."

She looked surprised, "Anything baby, you do know that, always anything for you."

"Angie's plastered, my duet is in twenty minutes and I need someone who knows all the lyrics to Titanium." He said softly.

Sarah sighed, "Now that's not gonna be easy, even among all these people. I wouldn't even know where to start."

Adam looked at her waiting for it to sink slowly in. The look of horror spreading on her face as it did.

"No, hell no, not ever, don't even, forget it, get lost, drop dead, over my dead body. Not even if Hades went ice skating to work would I get up on stage with you!" Sarah exploded.

Adam laughed, "So you will think about it then?" This was an old row, one he always eventually somehow won.

"Piss of, you know I can't sing in public I freeze up!" Sarah snapped, "No not even for you will I do this. You ask too much of me all the time! I've already spent the whole night waiting like an idiot for you back here with no one to talk to. Forget it!"

Adam stroked her back, "Not even if I buy you a nice dinner, take you shopping and lovely backrubs?"

Sarah stiffened at the touch, something still a sore sobject after the break up. "No Lambert I can't, I'm sorry I'm just not good enough."

"But baby, it could ruin my career if I don't have a female lead. 15 minutes, baby for me. I will even beg if you want me to." He offered kissing her neck, "You were always good enough to me and certainly a thousand times better then that drunk! Just one song and then we can go, I promise baby."

Tears on Sarah's face, "I'm scared."

He hugged her tightly, "I know, but you need to face those fears. A life lived in fear is a life half lived."

"I can't sing, not anymore." She mumbled.

Adam looked around, they were out of the way of the crowd enough. He started on an old song of theirs they had always loved from their wicked obsessions.

KISS ME TOO FIERCELY  
HOLD ME TOO TIGHT  
I NEED HELP BELIEVING  
YOU'RE WITH ME TONIGHT  
MY WILDEST DREAMINGS  
COULD NOT FORESEE  
LYING BESIDE YOU  
WITH YOU WANTING ME

AND JUST FOR THIS MOMENT  
AS LONG AS YOU'RE MINE  
I'VE LOST ALL RESISTANCE  
AND CROSSED SOME BORDERLINE  
AND IF IT TURNS OUT  
IT'S OVER TOO FAST  
I'LL MAKE EV'RY LAST MOMENT LAST  
AS LONG AS YOU'RE MINE...

Sarah sighed deeply as he waited long moments for her to reply, still crying she stumbled over the male part of the words. Gaining in confidence as she did so.

MAYBE I'M BRAINLESS  
MAYBE I'M WISE  
BUT YOU'VE GOT ME SEEING  
THROUGH DIFFERENT EYES  
SOMEHOW I'VE FALLEN  
UNDER YOUR SPELL  
AND SOMEHOW I'M FEELING  
IT'S "UP" THAT I FELL ...

Adam joined back in on the chorus to support her, loving singing with his lady once again.

EVERY MOMENT  
AS LONG AS YOU'RE MINE  
I'LL WAKE UP MY BODY  
AND MAKE UP FOR LOST TIME...

They trailed off as she thought about it. Sarah couldn't even look at him as she whispered. "Okay."

Adam kissed her deeply, "Thank you my sweet angel of mercy."

Sarah had her own form of come back, as always.

WHAT IS THIS FEELING?  
FERVID AS A FLAME  
DOES IT HAVE A NAME?  
YES!...  
LOATHING  
UNADULTERATED LOATHING ...  
THOUGH I DO ADMIT IT CAME ON FAST  
STILL I DO BELIEVE THAT IT CAN LAST  
AND I WILL BE LOATHING  
LOATHING YOU  
MY WHOLE LIFE LONG!

Adam laughed, "I know you will!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Kiss Me Too Fiercely**

**Chapter Four**

**I am Titanium**

Authors Note, and now is when it starts getting nasty and complex. Bare with me it will so be worth it in the end. Luv ya all, and even more so if you REVIEW xx. Oh and for those who ask, sarah is NOT me. She's a mix of me, and someone adam used to know a long time ago. She's someone I wish I could be and she's a pretty good character to use for flicks.

Sarah paced on the edge of the stage waiting for their turn, terrifed and almost in tears. Wanting to bolt away from all of this, but not wanting to let Adam down. He was rubbing her shoulders gently murmering relaxingly. She wasn't listening to a word he said.

Suddenly a thought crossed her mind, she slipped off her glasses and handed them to him. He looked confused, but still slipped them into his jacket pocket. "But you won't be able to see much?"

"That's the whole point, if I can't see passed the second row they can't scare me." She muttered back.

"You always were the clever one." Adam smiled, "Just think its us, just us out there. Rocking out at home on rockband or picture me naked or something."

Sarah burst out laughing, "Picturing Adam Lambert naked is so not gonna calm me down!"

"Nope, but it made you smile." He kissed her hair as they were called to the stage.

"And now due to the sad and sudden ill health of Ms Miller, Adam Lambert will be dueting with Miss Sarah."

Adam took her arm and lead her onto the stage, "Just breathe and smile."

Sarah was lost in a million flash camera bulbs, holding her microphone like it was her lifeline in all of this. She'd been practising the lines out back for the short time they had been granted. She was warmed up vocally, but her mouth was dry from nerves as she realised she was the one to start the song. Her verse was the first lines, the words completely escaped her as fear kicked in staring around at it all.

Adam dug his nails into her arm to bring her back to focas. "Just you and me, nothing else matters." He whispered, "Whatever happens you tried and I love you for that."

Sarah closed her eyes and tried to focas, taking a few deep breaths as the music started up. The song so familier to her, sung it just the two of them so many times for fun. Hell she had sung it a million times at home too.

As her cue appeared, muscle memory kicked in and the words just flew out of her mouth unbidden.

You shout it out,  
But I can't hear a word you say  
I'm talking loud not saying much

Adam's beaming smile lit up the stage listening to her lovely, yet nervous voice ringing out accross the audience.  
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet  
You shoot me down, but I get up

Sarah took a breath as Adam sung, trying to keep herself calm. He took her hand for the chorus and squeezed hard. She felt better at his touch, more at home as they continued.

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose  
Fire away, fire away  
Ricochet, you take your aim  
Fire away, fire away  
You shoot me down but I won't fall  
I am titanium  
You shoot me down but I won't fall  
I am titanium  
I am titanium

That last note, that perfect blend of both their voices shattered the air. Adam hugged her so tightly as everyone clapped, just so proud she had made it through. "That was amazing baby, you were perfect!"

More pictures were taken before they left the stage Sarah bouncing down the steps behind him. "You were awesome, epic, fantastic! I'm so proud!" He gushed.

Sarah was stoney quiet lost in her own thoughts.

"Are you okay baby?" Adam asked, "Do you feel sick, faint?"

Sarah shook her head.

"Then what's wrong?" He asked again starting to worry.

"That was just..." She trailed off.

"Scary? Evil? Horrible?" Adam started running through anything he could think of, but her answer was nothing he would ever have guessed.

"Fucking amazing!" She broke into a huge smile, "I mean that was just awesome!"

The shock was clear to see on his face, "You enjoyed it?"

"Enjoyed? I wanna go back up there!" Sarah exploded grabbing him into a tight embrace. "Dear odin how did I ever let that bastard grind it out of me? I used to love this stuff!"

Adam swung her around laughing, "You were always amazing baby. Truely perfect I kept telling you that! Infact I am in desperate need of a new backing singer, and I would love if you would replace her. Would you like that?"

Sarah pushed away roughly staring at him with fresh tears falling.

"What did I say?" Adam asked shocked.

But Sarah didn't answer, she ran off. He tried to follow, but someone wanted yet another interview. Sighing he gave into duty hoping she would be okay.


	5. Chapter 5

**Kiss Me Too Fiercely**

**Chapter Five**

**"Run baby, run baby, run baby, run"**

Sarah got changed back into her shirt and jeans from the day and escaped the venue. She needed air, so torn up in side from it all. Adam was offering her everything she had every wanted, but she couldn't take advantage of him in such a way. It wouldn't be right to allow him to use his fame to help her.

To have the life she needed so desperately offered to her on a silver platter. She wanted to say yes so badly, but if she did she would forever be the girl who only got the job for her friendship. That wasn't fair on Adam, what if she fucked it all up? That would ruin his career as well as hers. That wasn't something she would ever allow to happen. Didn't care if she screwed it and hurt herself, but she wouldn't ever allow her actions to hurt him! She would leave first and that was exactly what she needed to do.

Walking back to the hotel Sarah let herself in quietly thankful that Adam wasn't back yet. Saved far too many awkward questions from him. She packed her few belongings back into her bag and checked her open ended return ticket. There was a flight back home 8.30am the next morning, she knew she had to be on it and away from here.

Hiding the bag in her little wardrobe she went for a shower and crawled into bed to pretend to sleep when he returned. Soon as he passed out she would be off to the airport and gone. Better, safer for both of them that way. She would have to move fast so that he didn't follow or find her. He wouldn't wanna let her go anymore then she wanted to leave. But if she stayed things would get all complicated for them both. She hoped that on day he would forgive her.

X

Adam looked for Sarah at the ball for hours, walking the streets nearby looking for any sign. In the end tired and worried he came back to the hotel to find her phone blinking on the table turned to silent all his missed calls displaying.

Quietly he snuck into her room and saw the sleeping figure. He sighed at least she was safe that was something. He lent over to kiss her forehead and stroke her hair. "Oh darling what is hurting you so badly you can't even let me in?"

Adam had the sudden urge to lay down and cuddle her all night. Later he would wish he had so that he could have held onto her a bit longer, stopped her from leaving. He had no way of knowing what was to come or how much he was gonna loose.

Adam just went to bed like it was a normal night, he didn't sleep too well worried about Sarah. Thought he heard her moving around in the night. Again he nearly came to see if she was okay, but left her to have some personal space. Third strike and he was out.

When Adam woke he knew something was deeply wrong. He slammed out of his room dressed in only his boxers. It was way too quiet, no music, no singing, no moving around. "Sarah?" He shouted, nothing. He knocked on her door, still nothing. Shoving it open the room was empty, bed made, her stuff gone and a note on the bed.

Adam, I love you to bits you know that and know how much this is hurting me to do. I can't be the girl who got the job cause she 'fucked the boss'! I won't ruin your career with that, I won't risk hurting you! I care too much for that. I gotta do this by myself. Don't look for me, don't come after me, just let me go. One day I will be able to touch the stars and find you again. Wait for me, please. I love you. Sarah x

"What the fuck is this stupidity?!" Adam exploded, "Like I give a shit if it ruins my career! I want my best friend with me livin it with no regrets!"

Growling he hunting for his phone to ring her, snarling more as the phone rang on the table. She had left it behind completely. Shaking his head he checked the flights back to the UK and booked a ticket. No way was he letting her go without a fight.

Not his glambitch.

Not his best friend.

NEVER!


	6. Chapter 6

**Kiss Me Too Fiercely**

**Chapter Six**

**"Parting of the Ways."**

Adam never found her, Sarah had been planning to run for a while now to escape the ex. All her stuff was packed into the back of a cheap rental car. A new flat and a whole new life ahead of her. She had been careful enough to even build up a new identity, anything to free herself from that pain.

Even with the withstraining order in place he was following her everywhere and that scared her thinking of what he could do. She had come into a little money from the death of a relative, just enough to pay off her debts and keep her in bills for a few months. A job working at a bar in town was all set up.  
Long hours, but damn good money so she could suffer what she had to do for a while as she had to. Until she could get what she wanted in life. She sighed a frigging stripper bar, she had thought those days were long behind her. A hundred a night plus tips and all cash in hand and working 4/5 nights a week. Well who could pass up that kind of money? Certainly not someone who wanted to make her way in the scarey world of show business.

If Sarah was going to get her fame and glory she was determined to do it by herself. She had now walked away from everyone she had ever known. Sooner or later certain people would find out where she was. Only though when she ready to face the world again and that could be some time yet. She needed to get her head back on straight again after the break up and the court case.

To rediscover who Sarah really was after being so controlled for so very long. She couldn't remember anymore how she used to be or what she wanted to do with herself. Looking down at the studded bra and underwear for the next show she cringled knowing this was exactly who she didn't wanna be.

X

Adam looked for Sarah for months constantly emailing her and checking her twitter/fb accounts for activity. He had tried her old apartment a load of times until eventually it was relet to someone else. None of her friends had heard from her at all. He was worried sick.

Out of desperation one night Adam posted a status saying he wished he knew that his angel was okay. Within minutes he had an answer in DM. "Yes I'm fine baby don't worry. Be in touch. X"

He messaged straight back begging her to talk to him, but all he got back was "Soon."

So against his instincts and his gut feelings, Adam slowly stopped looking and started to try and move on. She was always in his thoughts and a few more times he posted tags like it. No other time did he get a reply and that cut deeply in his broken heart.

He became closer to his guitarest, Tommy made him feel alive again. Hanging around with him laughing and joking felt so damn good. The tentative fresh adommy in Pitsberg Pride left an impression on them both. That night for the first time since the Glamnation tour they slept together.

Adam loved Tommy and always had, but dear TJ hadn't been ready to come out then and that had caused a lot of fights. Eventually they had split up and Adam had started dating Sauli who if you looked closely was more then a little bit of a likeness.

Now Sal was out of the picture Tommy had slowly started to admit his true feelings to the point he had even come out to his family. But as fresh Queenbert loomed, the new album and fresh concerts Adam couldn't help but wish that he could share it all with his best friend again.

Then an offer came his way, a one week charity showing of Wicked in London. It would mean weeks of rehursals to remember the role he had played as a young man. To dance through life once again as Fiyerobert.

Even so stage was his greatest passion and he loved the show so dearly he agreed without a second thought. One week as his old persona would be wonderful. Although his heart sunk moments later as he thought of someone else who loved the show as much as he.

Not knowing that it was the love of that show that would bring them back together in a crazy chain of events as the fates got their hands on both of their lives. To reforge the friendships of old once again and make them stronger then ever.


	7. Chapter 7

Kiss Me Too Fiercely

Chapter Seven  
Mysteries and Mayhem.

Sarah let herself into her apartment with a sigh of relief. It had been nearly a twenty hour day. Ten at work, two more traveling and then the rest in a serious series of knock out auditions for a mystery new musical. She thanked the Gods for her experience table dancing for the stamina to keep going through it all somehow. Even so, and grabbing some pizza on the way home all she wanted to do was crawl into bed and die.

Worst part was she didn't even know if she had the role or not yet. She had ended in the final five and had to attend tomorrows afternoon call backs. They wouldn't even tell the auditionees what show they were trying out for. It was all very weirdly hush hush. All they knew was it was a musical which would run here for a few weeks. Then there would be a week of a special charity event with a celebrity guest star. Probabley some two but soap star with a massive ego and a tiny talent. Knowing her luck she would get blown off for those two twig bitches that looked like they were a 6/8 in not only dress size but brain cells as well.

Collasping on the sofa after ripping her heels off from the walk home. Sarah settled down sighing in relief, damn that felt good. Her eyes fluttered shut for a moment, but she forced them back open. She couldn't sleep yet, she needed to shower and get stuff ready for the morning yet.

Had to have a few minutes off of her feet first, leaning down under the sofa she pulled her out her preicous battered old laptop Adam had bought her so long ago. Checking her messages she found a long winding email from her friend of how much he missed her. As she read it his icon blinked online.

Sarah sighed, she missed him so badly as well. It had been so long since she had permitted herself a single friendship. Since she had spoken to a human being that wasn't strictly work related. She missed that, the companionship, the comfortable relationship they had once shared.

It had been months since they had spoken, he had even mostly stopped emailing her now. Given up almost on ever getting a a responce. After the hellish day she had suffered Sarah knew only one person could make her feel better. On impulse she sent him "Hey".

After a very long pause, she could feel him freaking out on the other side trying to calm enough that he could answer her. "Hey babygirl, long time no see. How's my sweet Elphaba doing?"

The sigh of relief from Sarah as she knew that he forgave her for disappearing and hurting him. "You know the drill, long hours, working my ass off. I missed you so much darling."

"Oh sweet Sarah, you don't know how very much I miss you too. Baby please tell me where you are?" Adam begged.

"Not yet, I can't. Soon when I have sorted myself out. I promise."

"Oh Sarah please let me help you. I'm not too proud to beg, I need you." Adam typed.

She thought for a few moments. "I'm in London working at a bar."

Adam sighed, "There are a million bars in that city, how is that gonna help me find you?"

"You will find me when I want you to, I'd rather you didn't see what I'm doing right now." She answered.

"Sarah are you drinking again?"

"I wish, that would be simplier."

"Oh Christ what did you do to yourself? Are you okay?!"

"I'm a stripper."

"WHAT?!"

"I didn't have a lot of choice and the money is damn good. I'd say that men are pigs, but that would be an insult to pigs. Anyway I've been for a few auditions so my luck could change really soon."

"Why won't you just let me give you a job?! Like I give a shit what the haters say about us. I love you! You are my best friend, I just want you to be happy!"

Sarah didn't know how to answer, just turned the laptop off. She knew she was being stupid about all of this. So afraid that she could hurt the one person she couldn't bare to. She fell into bed fully dressed and cried herself to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Kiss Me Too Fiercely

Chapter Eight  
"I'm flying high defying gravity"

Authors note: be patient my loves they will meet again soon xx

Another grueling afternoon of dancing left Sarah almost on her ass. Two more had been kicked out during the stages, leaving just her and the twig bitches.

Last round they were handed three sheets of paper sealed with a song on from the show. The first twig bitch entered the room, and ran out minutes later the crumpled paper falling from her hand as she went. So fifty fifty from now on. The other bitch came out looking sulky, but slammed on a smile as she came outside. Interesting, bluffing or not? That was a hard one to call.

Sarah stormed into the room for her turn. Stood there looking all fierce in her black skinny jeans, black vest top and high heeled boots just like her baby had always taught her to.

Five people stood there to judge her performance looking stern. She gave them the stink eye and waited for her orders. Given the nod finally when they had finished making their notes on her appearance, she openned the paper and read the title of the song. Defying Gravity staring at the song for long moments before a laugh broke out of her.

"Is there a problem with the lyrics?" One of the men asked.

Sarah gave him the paper back, "Not at all."

He looked confused, "Don't you want these?"

"Nah, I'm good. How many verses do you need?" She asked.

"Just sing until we tell you to stop." He ordered gruffly, "We do however expect the words to be correct sheet or not."

Sarah gave him a dazzling smile and moved into the centre spot. Closing her eyes a moment to collect her thoughts and hum a few bars of the music to get the right key before slamming into the song she knew so very well.

Something has changed within me  
Something is not the same  
I'm through with playing by the rules  
Of someone else's game  
Too late for second-guessing  
Too late to go back to sleep  
It's time to trust my instincts  
Close my eyes and leap!

It's time to try  
Defying gravity  
I think I'll try  
Defying gravity  
Kiss me goodbye  
I'm defying gravity  
And you won't bring me down

The room was stony silent as she finished the song, no one had stopped her. Was that good or bad? No one was giving her the slightest clue of how her performance was going over. A blonde girl came forward, long curly hair. If this was truely an audition for wicked then she had to be Galinda.

"How many of the songs do you know?" The blonde asked.

Sarah grinned, "All of them, every last lyric and a hell of a lot of the words to the show as well. Its a passion of mine."

"Prove it." The blonde girl said.

"Give me a starting line and I will!" Sarah retorted.

[GLINDA]  
WHAT IS THIS FEELING  
SO SUDDEN AND NEW?

[ELPHABA]  
I FELT THE MOMENT  
I LAID EYES ON YOU ...

[GLINDA]  
MY PULSE IS RUSHING ...

[ELPHABA]  
MY HEAD IS REELING ...

[GLINDA]  
MY FACE IS FLUSHING ...

[BOTH]  
WHAT IS THIS FEELING?  
FERVID AS A FLAME  
DOES IT HAVE A NAME?  
YES!...  
LOATHING  
UNADULTERATED LOATHING ...

[GLINDA]  
FOR YOUR FACE...

[ELPHABA]  
YOUR VOICE ...

[GLINDA]  
YOUR CLOTHING ...

[BOTH]  
LET'S JUST SAY - I LOATHE IT ALL!  
EV'RY LITTLE TRAIT, HOWEVER SMALL  
MAKES MY VERY FLESH BEGIN TO CRAWL

Again a stony silence, no emotion nor hint of what they felt or thought. That was starting to seriously piss her off now. She knew damn well that she was rocking it hard. What more could they possibley want from her?!

A tall drop dead gorgeous guy with a hell of a six pack and long blonde hait stepped forward. "I will be playing Fiyero." He said shaking her hand.

She looked him up and down thinking dammmmnnnnn! "I can see that."

"We would like to see you two full number of 'as long as your mine' including all the emotives/kissing to see if you make a believable couple." The first man commented.

Sarah stared at him, "You want me to sing with and kiss the hot dude as an audition?"

Fiyero laughed, "I guess then that you don't have a problem with that like the first lady?"

"Hell no!" She answered.

[ELPHABA]  
KISS ME TOO FIERCELY  
HOLD ME TOO TIGHT  
I NEED HELP BELIEVING  
YOU'RE WITH ME TONIGHT  
MY WILDEST DREAMINGS  
COULD NOT FORESEE  
LYING BESIDE YOU  
WITH YOU WANTING ME

AND JUST FOR THIS MOMENT  
AS LONG AS YOU'RE MINE  
I'VE LOST ALL RESISTANCE  
AND CROSSED SOME BORDERLINE  
AND IF IT TURNS OUT  
IT'S OVER TOO FAST  
I'LL MAKE EV'RY LAST MOMENT LAST  
AS LONG AS YOU'RE MINE...

[FIYERO]  
MAYBE I'M BRAINLESS  
MAYBE I'M WISE  
BUT YOU'VE GOT ME SEEING  
THROUGH DIFFERENT EYES  
SOMEHOW I'VE FALLEN  
UNDER YOUR SPELL  
AND SOMEHOW I'M FEELING  
IT'S "UP" THAT I FELL ...

The kiss was long and lingering, she could still taste him as they pulled apart. He smelt devine, when they touched she felt sparks, godess she wanted this guy. The way he stroked his hand down her back so tenderly she wondered if it was all stageplay or not. As he helped her to her feet after the number, he rubbed his thumb accross the pulse on her wrist. It was all she could do not to moan at the gentle touch.

"Well I think that's all for today, welcome to the team Miss Elphaba." The first guy said handing her a big folder. 'Everything you need is in there, rehursals start in ten days."

"I'm in?" Sarah asked shocked.

He nodded, "You were the only girl who knew the words or felt the deep emotions that needed to be convayed. Your guest star for our charity week is Adam Lambert. We needed a damn strong bitch of a woman, with an epic vocal range of emotive high defintion to stand against him and I think we have found her."

"I'm going to be playong Elphie to Adam Lambert's Fiyero?" Sarah asked, "Oh now I think I need a stiff drink."

He smiled kindly, "You are a glambert then?"

Sarah shook her head, "Not exactly he is an old friend, a very old friend. When will he get to know I'm playing the lead?"

"Eight weeks time is when he starts rehursals, is there anything I need to know about you two?" He asked, "Anything that can ruin my show?"

She shook her head even more firmly, "Nope just promise me that no one will tell him. I want to see his face when he finds out I'm in."

The guy winked at her, "For a friend of Mr Lambert anything."

They hugged and parted friendily and Sarah walked out that door to the rest of her life finally.


	9. Chapter 9

Kiss me too fiercely

Chapter Nine

Authors Note: Happy Independance day to my beloved boys. And here's your gift. Adam and Sarah's remeeting. Love you xx

The weeks of rehursals progressed way too quickly. Sarah still table danced now and then, but most of the time was spent on Wicked. With her indepth knowledge of the play and having to learn so few lines she quickly moved up to assistant producer with a massive pay jump.

Her acting needed a little work having had little to no experience, but her instincts were good. A few evening lessons with the sexy blonde Fiyero (no not like that lol) and she was soon up to speed again. Christopher had been very sweet and patient with her learning. He had even asked her for coffee a few times.

Purely as friends of course, even so every time they touched she still felt that jolt of energy. Gods she wanted him badly, but it was it love or lust? It was well over a year now since she had been with anyone. Her concern was that it was bodies need driving her and nothing else. But as that fine ass wigged passed her in those tight white trousers she had to remind herself to breathe.

Another late night rehursal, it must be two in the morning easily. Everyone else had left by now, but Sarah lingered on stage dressed in her full costume and green make up. She told herself she was lurking behind because she didn't want to clean off the grease paint, it was only her second time in it and it itched to hell.

In truth Sarah was still taking it all in. A year ago she had been stuck in that abusive relationship and now here she was happy, healthy and living the dream she had always longed for.

Right then and there she had a hell of a craving to take a selfie off her costume stood on the stage and send it to Adam, but that would ruin the surprise of the following week when he came to openning night. The posters all had the name she had created on them, Melanie Clearwater so he wouldn't have a clue it was his friend. The shiney pictures with her face wouldn't launch until openning night and she was sure he would be too busy to notice.

Sarah snuck quietly onto the stage, it was so hard to believe that all of this was her little playground. That she was in this world of love and beauty. If someone had told her this was where she would be. She would have laughed and called them crazy. What would Adam sat about it all, her love that she could never have? Tears started to fall making her make up run slightly she belted.

Don't wish,  
don't start.  
Wishing only wounds the heart.  
I wasn't born for the life of fame.  
Adam could be that boy,  
But I'm not that girl.  
There's a boy I know  
He loves him so.  
Gold hair with a gentle curl.  
And heavon knows  
I'm not that boy.

Sarah heard clapping and blushed looking around to see Chris lurking. "Interesting remix, I'm sure I can guess whom to which you refer."

She sighed, "Problem with falling in love with a gay man, he will never feel the same way about you in return."

"Maybe there's someone around here that does." He murmered pulling her closer. "Maybe there's someone who would like to get to know you a lot better. Learn what's underneath that brash person to the sweet girl I'm pretty sure is hiding under that arguementative old witch."

Sarah laughed, "Believe me under this arguementative old witch as you put it, is an even more crotchity bad tempered younger witch who will kick ya ass!"

"I don't believe that, I just think you were hurt very badly once and are just too scared to feel anymore." Chris answered pulling her into a deep kiss.

She tried to resist, but found herself melting into the touch far too easily. She hadn't felt this alive for years. Deeping the already passionate embrace, giving in just this once to beautiful sinful temptation.

As they broke apart her green make up was smudged accross his lips. "Now can I take you to dinner tomorrow finally?" He asked.

Blushing she nodded, "I love Italien."

X. X. X. X. X. X. X. X. X

Openning night Sarah was excited and crazily so, even though it was as yet barely lunchtime. She knew who was in the theatre waiting for her practising with the understudy Elphaba. That girl Chloe or something, she played the role on week days. She only played the role thursday/friday nights and all four weekend shows.

It had been designed that way so she could work with the training of Adam and some of the production side. It was so much fun, she loved it all so thrilling. She had never had a job like it before, nothing that satisfied her so damn fully. (Shut it perveberts!) She woke every morning desperate to get to work, so weird for her.

In the dressing room Sarah could hear the first Adam rehursals of 'Dancing Through Life' as she adjusted her black wig and dress, no make up. She only wore that shit when she completely had to. Calming her nerves ready to break the big news, her and Chloe had already arranged how they were gonna trade out.

"Hey sexy." Chris called from the doorway.

Sarah wrapped her arms around him and kissed him, "My sexy Fiyero." Things were going really great between them although they were hiding from the whole cast that they were together for safety. Didn't want any trouble at work or people causing any shit between them.

"Time to shine shooting star, time to rock and roll." He murmered kissing down her neck.

"Damn it baby keep kissing me like that and I won't wanna go." She breathed.

"Well I gotta give ya something to remember me by when you go see that lambert asshole." Chris answered.

"Don't worry I'm over his sparkling Edward Cullen wannabe ass, I just want my best friend back again." She promised.

They walked out to stand by the edge of the stage to watch the rehursal. Elphaba screaming at Fiyero for running her over, and Adam smirking back at them. He wasn't in costume yet, just jeans and a shirt. Black skinnies and that fuck ugly light blue leopard print shirt which she hated. Her breath caught as she saw him for the first time since Liveball. He was thin, too thin and looked like he hadn't been sleeping. No make up, and that blasted beard was getting worse she swore.

The director saw her and gave the nod. "From the start!". Everyone groaned so she could tell they had been there a while.

Sarah watched him be wheeled accross in the cart and startle the reading Chloe.

"Please Miss you'll disterb him!" His valet shouted.

Chloe winked and came to tag team Sarah who took her place without anyone noticing. She slammed out all bitch face. "Oh I'll disterb him alright!" She shouted whacking the side of the cart with her book. "WAKE UP YOU!"

"Young lady, do you know who this is...?"

Adam struggled upright into position and stopped in complete and total shock of who was stood there as Elphie.

"I don't care who he is, this is your fault. You nearly knocked me over and you were sleeping?" Sarah demanded not giving him time to recover.

Adam just sat there staring not able to speak or believe what was infront of his eyes.

"Oh look the great Adam Lambert can't even remember his lines. What a surprise that is! Try 'Of course its daytime'!" She snapped, "And while we are at it Fiyero is meant to look sexy and professional and that filth on your face just won't do. Get Melvin shaved the fuck off before he starts signing his own autographs!" She waited stood arms folded looking truely terrifying.

"Sarah?" He asked dumbly.

"Who else, now pull yourself together. In not calling you a glitter ambulance sparkles." Sarah answered, "I think that's a rap people. See you tonight, great rehursal and luv you all."


	10. Chapter 10

Kiss Me Too Fiercely

Chapter 10

"Please Forgive Me"

Authors Note: Yes baby, the message in this one is for you. Love you.

The stage cleared quickly leaving the two of them alone to talk, the whole cast knew that this would be a touching moment they deserved privacy for. "Jesus Sarah, what are you doing here?" Adam asked still feeling like he was dreaming.

"Its Melanie now, Melanie Clearwater and I happen to be the lead Elphaba Thropp and assistant producer which makes me your boss so show some respect! Didnt you think i could make it on my own without throwing your name about?" Sarah demanded.

"Yes, no, oh gods Sarah, I dont even know what I'm thinking right now." he admitted, "I've been so scared that you were dead or hurt. A thousand and one dark thoughts plaguing me about you. I've been so damn terrified that the only thing I'd be coming for would be your grave."

The poor broken man in front of her, tears in his eyes cracked and shattered her armour. She pulled her best friend into a hug, stroking his back to try and stop the tremblimg as he cried. "Shh baby, I'm so sorry for everything. I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere again."

Adam buried his head in her shoulder breathing in the sweet smell of her perfume that he had almost forgotton in these long months apart. Holding onto her like she was going to vanish from his arms. Rubbing his hands down her upper arms to make sure the skin was unmarked. "Have you really been okay?"

"Its been tough, really hard at times, but I got through it because in my heart you were always there with me picking me back up everytime I stumbled. Dusting me off and making me try all over again, telling me I'd be alright in the aftermath. I lucked into this, it was a totally blind audition the role could have been for anything. It completely changed my world and when i found out you were gonna be here I just knew it was meant to be. Wicked would always be my way back to you." she answered.

Adam hugged her and kissed her hair, "I didn't want to just be there in your heart, I wanted to be by your side to help you through all of this shit so you weren't alone. Why wouldn't you let me?"

Sarah sighed, "Because I needed to be alone, so if I broke there wasn't anyone to see me to fail if no one cares or is watching. I didn't think I could survive the pain. I wanted to die so damn badly, I knew you wouldn't let me go."

"Of course I bloody wouldn't let me go." he snapped, "No matter how bad it gets nothing is worth taking your life over. You have support so damn well use it!"

"Just gimmie a few to change and we can go for a coffee, okay?" she asked, "Then you can give me the riot act as much as you want to. I deserve it, but i just couldn't be around people until i got my head right."

Adam was reluctant to let go of her, "Promise you won't run again?"

"Sweetie, I have openning night in what? Eight hours? HELL NO! My job is not something I ever want to give up, I worked too damn hard for this!" she promised.

Adam watched her go, snapping his phone out the second she was out of sight. Punching in the speed dial of the one person who would understand.

Tommy picked up the phone groaning, "Lambert, do you know what time it is?"

"Baby..." Adam stumbled.

"Jesus, what happened?" he demanded.

"Sarah's here."

"What?!"

"She's Elphaba, she's my leading lady."

Tommy rubbed the sleep from his eyes, "Have you been drinking?"

"Baby, I'm serious Sarah is here and fuck knows how, but she really is playing Elphaba!" he mumbled.

"Is she okay? Are you okay? I can fly out in a few hours if you need me!"

"She's fine, better then fine. She looks good, confident, changed so very much. Tommy, I don't know this girl thats walking around looking like my baby. Whoever she is, she isn't our Sarah." he sighed, "I'm kitty, i don't know what to do and I don't want to take you away from your recordings with your first album due so soon."

"Just give it some time to adjust for you both. She's been through a lot , doesn't mean she's not found herself a shiny new persona to hide behind. Just be there for her if she falls and I'm here for you 24/7." he promised.

"I gotta go, she's coming back. I love you sweet kitty." Adam whispered.

"Love you too Sparkles." as the phone cut off and he fell back to sleep.

The journey to the coffee shop was silent, as was sitting there picking at their lunch. Neither knew how to break the awkwardness between them. So much needed to be said, so much had been missed. They had both changed so much these long months apart.

"You need to eat hunni, you are dangerously thin." Sarah comments quietly trying to force herself to follow her own advise.

Adam gave a sad smile and tried to obey, "Yeah well its been a tough few months"

"I always watched the concerts, the news, kept up to date with it all. Sorry about your record label, they were complete idiots."

Adam snorted, "Kinda wished you had been there to kick their asses for me. I'd have probabley ended up with a raise."

Sarah laughed, holding out her hand. "Phone and contact name please."

He looked at her strangely, but did as he was told. She lurked out for a few minutes, he heard her raised voice kicking ass. Then she very calmly walked back to the table, handed over his phone and went back to her chocolate coconut frappe. Before he could ask what had happened, his phone rang. He lurked to the back of the room to talk in pure shock at what was happening. A few exchanges of words later, he came back. "How the hell do you do it?" he demanded.

Sarah smiled, "I just pointed out what an amazing live artist they had at the peak of his fame, soon due on the set of Glee. Gaining even more fans then the over seven million he has now. An artist who has breath taking vocals and actually does sing live unlike half of their modern acts. If I want to listen to a soundtrack playing at concert, I will save the money and play the CD at home. That people like One Direction will be forgotten in a year or so, but your songs will be surviving for decade at least. People talking about the guy who worked with Kiss and Queen. The man who changed the world through rock and roll bringing a new harmony to the human race and a better future. To have all that and waste it on a covers album they were damn stupid, that i was your new manager and currently in negotiations with five other record labels to get you the best deal, but you regretted not being able to stay true to your label as they wouldn't stay true to your talents."

Adam shook his head, "You girl are the bomb! They just offered me double my old contract and complete creative license for three more albums."

"And?" she asked sipping her drink.

Adam shrugged, "Said I'd think about it."

She laughed, "Good boy! Make them squirm a little first."

Laughing he leaned accross the table to hug her tightly, "Damn I missed us."

"So did I." she confessed, "Always the best of friends, the worst of enemies, my ice against your fire."

"So gonna tell me what happened other then being a stripper?" he asked.

Sarah shrugged, "Not a lot, just moping around, being foolish, drinking too much, then kicking my own ass to get where I wanted to be. This was pure luck, just dropped into my lap around other failed auditions. When they handed me Defy Gravity to sing I knew the role was gonna be mine, I own that song after all these years practising it. Given my obsession for the show, lines and lyrics hardly took any time to learn. Hence my upgrade to senior staff."

She drew distant, staring off at nothing until Adam took her hand to pull her back. "What's wrong baby?" he asked.

She wiped faint tears away on the back of her hand. "Its just if you had told me a year ago that broken woman who wanted nothing less then eternal sleep could have all of this. Everything I could ever have wished for. To know i have the talent and you weren't just being kind all this time. If i stop and let myself think about it, everything seems so damn crazy. Don't get me wrong, 'I couldn't be happier', I just don't believe my fucked up life deserves this. What did I do to be worthy of all of this?"

"Stop feeling you aren't good enough and start living, truely living Sarah. Your future is unlimited with or without me at your side." he promised, "Come on you, lets go shopping."

She groaned, "No manicures I have faulse daggers going on later."

Adam dragged her to her feet, "Behave or I will make you spend the whole day in a shoe shop."

She cuddled up as he slung a lazy arm around her to pull her away. "I don't need anything." she insisted.

"Rubbish everyone loves new clothes. Buy you some more kinky knee high boots, I know you love them." he teased.

Sarah brightened at that, "I could do with some more of these of these and I know where the discount Doc Martin's shop is."

"Oh really, and how would you know that 'Miss I hate shopping'?" he asked.

"Shut it or I won't take you!" she retorted.

Adam laughed things weren't back to normal, but they sure as hell were getting there.

A text bleeped on his phone, "Doing okay? Kitty".

"Yeah its all good. Shopping"

"Rolls eyes, seriously?!"

"Hey why not?"

"Only you could fix everything with retail therapy."

"Oh shh, bring you back some new band tee shirts."

"Fine, have fun"

Sarah smiled watched the text exchange, "Tommy's good for you, I'm glad you got together."

"How did you know?" he asked.

"I see all, know all I'm wicked through and through." sticking her tongue out, dragging him off.


	11. Chapter 11

Kiss Me Too Fiercely

Chapter 11

"Green Eyed Monster"

Adam lurked to his private box to watch the show, he was dying to see his babygirl in her very first night on stage. He'd kept her shopping for an hour or so, then let her come back for some sleep before hair and make up. He knew how grueling these long days were all too well. 18 months near enough in the show himself, damn he missing that so badly. It would be good to be proforming again. What shook him qas she showed no signs of her usual nerves or stage fright. She had been completely calm when they had spoken backstage during her make up. Although he had noticed the side long glances she had made to the guy playing Fiyero. She always had had a soft spot for that role, he wondered if she was hiding something from him there.

The cameras were getting ready to record the first show as advertisement. He was going to buy a copy of the dvd the second it was minted. Her first autograph was going to be his of that he had no doubt. She was going to make it big of that he was sure. He always had been even when she didn't believe it herself. All he knew was he had worked long and hard to gain everything he had, she just did it as naturally as if she was breathing. Always had done even when she had been messing around at Samhain melting or being burnt as a witch just for random fun with her friends. The nerves had always been her enemy.

If she wasn't thinking about it and just having fun she could do anything with an easy comfortableness, but the second she started thinking about it or who was looking she would crumble under the pressure. Adam had everything crossed that she wouldn't fail tonight and that she would own the stage this time around. He wasn't disappointed as she slammed out onto the stage, and into the first rant of the show. "Lets get this over with. Yes I've always been green. No I'm not seasick, no I didn't eat grass as a child. And yes this is my sister Nessa Rose who as you can see is a perfectly normal colour."

Adam watched captivated as she strutted, stomped and shouted her way through the role with her usual brand of dry sarcasum and ready wit. Even dropping in a few perfect adlibs to shouts from the crowd. She looked so comfortable, so effortless ot was breathtaking, but what really transfixed him where her vocals. Tears on his face as she not only reached, but stormed the high F final note of Defying Gravity. He always knew she had it deep inside of her, a firey passion as she belted out "I'm through accepting limits cause someone says they're so." Knowing exactly who she was thinking about. He even dialed Tommy to listen to her sing that familier piece. Who was as teary as his boyfriend hearing her harmonies resonate around the auditorium.

Adam snuck backstage after the first act, but spotted her cuddled up to the Fiyero near her dressing room thinking she wasn't being watched. The guy stroking down her back and hair just the way he had used to. Adam couldn't help the twinge of jealousy in his heart at that simple meaningless touch as she sipped away at a very sugary hot chocolate looking exhausted, stealing handfuls of sweets from the guy for energy.

Slightly hurt and not sure why he headed back front of house for the second act. So she had a close friend that wasn't him, it was hardly a surprise. She had been working with these people for months, they were her family now. Not him, he'd been left behind long ago. He wondered bitterly if she would have ever contacted him again if he hadn't been drawn into the show. If she was better off without him completely. Had he haressed and forced her into coming back to him? Was he any better then her controlling ex partner?

At that thought he went straight to the bar for a double whisky, followed by a few shots. Downing them in minutes, carrying another whisky back to his seat trying to calm the shaking in his bones at those dark thoughts. The drink in him and the exhausting time difference now showing him that which he hadn't seen before.

The chemistry between Elphaba and Fiyero. The sidelong glances they gave each other were clearly not just stage craft there was something else there. Adam had never seen Sarah look at anyone like that other then him. As they embraced singing their way through 'Kiss me too Fiercely' his heart broke. That had been for so long their duet. Those long lingering touches, that deep kiss, she had fallen hard and by the looks of it so had this MAN. He'd lost her and that thought chilled him. What use would she have for a washed up rocker without so much as a record label now? All Sarah's fame and fortune was ahead of her, it seemed his peak was far behind him now.

He slammed the empty glass down as the green eyed monster took over. He watched as the cast took their bows, Sarah had been so perfect in every way. Everything he had always hoped and pushed her to be, but he couldn't stop himself wanting to rip off the head of that fucking Fiyero wannabe. He wasn't even any good! Adam damn well knew he could do far better then that idiot. He would show him, he would show her that this kid wasn't worthy of her affections. Adam left silently without saying as much as goodbye, to find the nearest bar to think, drink and plot how to end that little flirtation.


	12. Chapter 12

Kiss Me Too Fiercely

Chapter 12

'Green Eyed Monsters'

Part one

Sarah came looking for Adam when the curtain had closed for the final time, expecting him to comment on her performance and 'Simona Cowell' her like she did him, but he was long gone. Trying not to feel hurt she lurked back to Chris.

"Told you that he is an asshole." He murmured hugging her.

"Shut up, you don't know him at all, I bet he had a good reason for leaving." She snapped starting to walk off.

"You still love him don't you?" he shouted after her.

Sarah turned back, "He is my best friend in the world, I won't have you talking shit about him."

"You didn't answer the question." Chris pushed.

"Its none of your damn business that's why!" she growled.

"It is if you are going to screw him behind my back." Chris stated.

She slapped him, "Don't even think about calling ME a cheat. I have never, would never and the only person who has dared ever call me one I walked out on. So shut your filthy fucking mouth before I shut it for you!"

She stormed away leaving Chris rubbing his sore cheek, "So I am just the rebound lay. Fine I never liked you that much anyway." He moved off through the crowd to find a better target for some enjoyment tonight.

Sarah worked her way through the autograph signings and interviews slowly before the after party. This was so surreal, everyone crowding around her like she was… Well like she was Adam Lambert sorta. These were the crowds she had always watched jealously around her friend. She felt like she was dreaming for it to be suddenly all about her and not him. When she was asked for the truth behind the Lambert Fiyero rumors, she confirmed that he would be starring in a few shows later that year. When asked how she felt about that she gushed over how wonderful his vocals were, and what an honour it was to work with someone so fabulously famous on her first show. That she was excited and deeply honoured to be paired up with him. Typical stuff that people would expect a newbee to say, carefully bypassing the fact that they had been friends for what felt like centuries now. When asked if she would be attending any show biz parties with him, she just simply stated if she was invited then she would be ecstatic to join him.

That was truly exhausting to carefully plot her way through the press without putting a foot wrong, the director smiled at her warmly so she knew that she had done well enough for now. Fetching a few strong drinks, she joined the after party which was already in full swing. She spotted Adam in the distance stinking drunk flirting with some guy who was kinda pretty. That made her angry, he had skipped being with her to get wasted with some slut. Nothing had changed there then.

Suddenly Sarah was spurred on after both her men had scorned her to let her hair down and get completely trashed herself tonight. Normally she would be the sober one looking after them, but not like there was anyone to notice or care how she was. The biggest night of her life and no one gave a shit, so damn typical. She posted a few drunken statuses on her fb knowing no one from the cast could see it just to vent her thoughts. A few moments later her phone rang, "Tommy?" she slurred.

A laugh on the other end, "Someone's enjoying her after party just a little bit too much. What's the problem little princess? Who hurt my baby?"

"I missed you kitty." She sighed.

"You too angel, now tell kitty what's wrong? I've already had a tearful Lambert on the phone, so I know all about your sexy debut. Congratulations, how does it feel to have all your dreams come true?" he asked.

"A little complicated, some bridges you cross you didn't know you had crossed until you crossed." She mumbled.

"Sarah, you are starting to really scare me baby." He mused.

"To be completely honest, lonely." Sarah confessed, "The interviews are over, the fans gone and now the only people I wanna share this with either aren't here or are trashed picking up guys!"

"He's drunk yet again?" he as

She nodded then realized that he couldn't actually see her face, blasted rum. "Never even said a single word to me after the show, not even looked at me."

"You should have heard him during it to me, he rang me so I could hear Defying Gravity. Damn gurl you nailed it!" he teased, "Where have you been hiding these vocals all this time?"

She smiled, "Same place you hide your beautiful creamy tones."

"Hey, I can't sing." He complained.

"Yeah and I'm not Elphaba." She retorted.

"You made it baby, I'm so very proud of you and I know he is as well even if he is a shitbag at expressing it. YA better believe that your first show with Adam I'm booking time off worked to come watch you both rock it!" he said.

"Thanks baby." She sighed.

"You need some sleep Sarah, that sounds like a stage downer from hell kicking in with way too much to drink. Ya got anyone to warm your bed for you?" he asked.

She sighed, "Well I did, but now I'm not so sure."

Tommy sighed, "Lambert screw it up for you?"

"Kinda." She admitted, "Chris thinks that I would cheat on him with Adam. Not that I would cause he doesn't love me, and he's yours. I couldn't do that to either of you."

"Chris sounds like an insecure ass that's a little star struck of your connections. But on the other hand, Lambert cares for you more then you would think possible. He was scared to death when you went missing. He couldn't sleep, eat, nothing without you. Neither of us could for months we were so terrified." He said.

"I'm really sorry I didn't mean it, I just need to sort my head out for a while." Sarah muttered.

"Hey babygirl, don't make me come to kick your ass too. I understand your reasoning and I forgive ya, as long as I get a big fat kiss and a hug next we meet." He promised.

"Anytime." She smiled, but a disturbance across the room distracted her from the call. Smashing glasses, a fight, and was that a table over turning? "Fuck Adam and Chris are fighting, I gotta go."

"I'm getting the next plane." He promised.

"See you tomorrow." She said snapping off the call and going to kick ass and sort this issue out as usual. Never a damn night off for her, not even this night.


	13. Chapter 13

Kiss Me Too Fiercely

Chapter 13

Green Eye'd Monsters P2

Adam spent a few hours in a nearby bar belting down shots trying to get the image of Sarah and that Chris out of his head. The budding new love affair that he wanted to tear down. Part of him wondered if he had the right to interfere, but it was only a tiny part. The rest of him wanted to rip her away and punch him. He did feel guilty that he had walked out without saying a word to his beloved, that had to have hurt her. As the drinks settled in his stomach he started getting very emotional thinking about how bad she must be feeling right now. After all she had no family to come watch her, well none that cared about her anyway. They had all sided with her ex, deciding that she was the cheating whore that he had told everyone she was. Glazing over the beatings, mental abuse, the stalking and the eventual with straining order. He really had wronged her tonight, she needed him there for her and he had allowed his stupid jealousy to get in the way.

Finishing his drink and rather unsteadily making his way to the after party, he couldn't find Sarah anywhere wondering if she had gone home. There was this sexy blonde guy giving him the eye who he did like the look of. The drink haze was pretty damn strong if he could be distracted by a pretty face instead of taking care of his best friend. They were dancing all sexy together, moving pretty close to needing to find an elsewhere to be when as he turned he caught sight of a crying Sarah walking off talking on the phone.

He swore to himself realizing that he was screwing up even more then before. Excusing himself to the blonde, to follow her he heard a little of the conversation between her and Tommy, tears in his own eyes as he realized how deeply his wound had cut into her soul. Ruining the happiest day of her life. He could never take back what he had done, but he could try and make it right again. He'd try to fix this until his dying day, he couldn't bare to lose her. Leaving Sarah to have a little privacy to finish her phone call, angry at himself that it was his glitter kitty fixing his mistakes as always. Adam always seemed to screw things up and Tommy had to bail him back out of trouble. He loathed that about his own personality that his gut reaction to any problem was to drink it away. Usually hurting those closest to his heart in the process.

Adam went to fetch himself a glass of water to try and start to flush the alcohol out of his blood stream. On the way he spotted Sarah's boyfriend disappearing into the distance with two girls. He didn't think too much of it at first until he saw Chris's hands starting to wander across one of their asses. Surely he couldn't have seen what he thought he had? Adam followed behind them, watching then group slide into a dark booth together. Horror sinking in as he saw Chris making out with both girls. Sarah was going to be devastated when she found out. He slammed around to the front of the booth, "Christopher, can I have a minute of your time?"

Chris gave him the finger, "I ain't sharing these honeys so go find yourself yet another man's partner to steal."

"Get out here now." Adam demanded coldly.

"Fuck you, I'm busy." He answered.

Adam grabbed him, dragging him out of the booth while excusing himself to the ladies as politely as he could. "What are you doing cheating on her with these women?"

Chris pushed him away, "What the hell is it to do with you? You just want her to break up with me, so you can finally admit that your big bag of gay is just an act for the cameras. A way to sell more records, you wouldn't be anywhere near so famous if it wasn't for making out you are a queer!"

Then everything got very confusing, Adam shouting insults back, a fight starting, a glass slammed into the side of his head, and the two of them were brawling like they where in high school. Next thing he knew Sarah was between them breaking them up along with a dozen others. "What the hell do you think you are doing?" she demanded as they were held apart trying to get to each other as they stared at her. "You are acting like little children, tonight was out big night, my big night. And now all anyone will be able to talk about is the cast having a stupid bar brawl! You could ruin the damn company and this show with your arrogant stupidity! You think about nothing but yourselves! You back stabbing, moronic, childish, pathetic shitbag pigs!" she snapped.

"Sarah, I need to talk to you please." Adam asked quietly.

"Oh yeah, try it on with my girl again won't you!" Chris snapped.

"She didn't look like your girl ten minutes ago!" Adam, retorted.

"Shut it both of you, you make me sick." She growled.

Then bouncers got involved and police. Complaints were made and next thing they both knew they were being bailed away into a police car. Adam had screwed up again, he knew it. He had been trying to do the right thing and protect his little girl. Seemed like on the way he had broken her heart instead. As the car drove away he saw her miserable expression in the rear view mirror. He had no clue what so ever how he was going to fix this major fuck up. He doubted that she would ever speak to him again. One thing he did know, he was giving up drinking. He didn't like the person he was when he was drunk. Not if things like this happened every single time!


	14. Chapter 14

Kiss Me Too Fiercely

Chapter 14

Adam sat quietly in the stinking police cells all night, staring across at Chris judging him for the heartache he was causing his beloved. The other clearly had no trouble with his rest snoring away. Adam swore if there weren't bars between then, he would rip him limb from limb for the arrogant smugness and for cheating on the young girl. He wasn't a cheat, he could never cheat on anyone, he would break up with them first didn't see the point of playing those kind of head games. Either you loved someone or you didn't, to him it was black and white no shades of grey.

Morning came around, he hadn't slept at all nor was he even that sober yet. He needed to rest it off, but he couldn't stop worrying about how Sarah must be feeling. Bail money was set, they weren't allowed to pay their own. He used his single phone call to ring her to ask if she would come and get him please. All he got for his trouble was a load of abuse and the phone slammed down. Not that he could blame her in the slightest after what they had done.

"Lovers tiff?" Chris taunted a smug grin on his face, "You shouldn't steal another man's wife."

"I didn't steal anyone from anyone and I wasn't going to. I just wanted to show her what a player you are so she didn't get hurt by you. She's been hurt too many times before, she deserves better then you!" he snapped.

Chris shook his head, "She deserves exactly what she got, nothing. She's only a pathetic wannabe actress with no real talent. I bet she slept with the boss for the role, no other way she could get it!"

Adam slammed into the side of the cage trying to get to him to rip his throat out. "Take that back you fucking arsehole! That girl deserves the world, far more then either of us do!"

"Funny because after what you did to her last night, she's not going to get it is she? We ruined that for her, the show will be axed. You can go home to your boyfriend and she can go back to the gutter where she belongs and its all thanks to you." He taunted.

The police had to come and break them up, separating them for good this time before they killed each other. Giving them a strong warning to cool off or else. Adam sat there brooding trying to work out his next move. He had nothing but time to think while he was here. Hours he lay there mulling over the past, his actions and his own personal feelings. At some point he must have dozed off into a deep black coma because next he knew someone punched him in the gut. Adam groaned waking up, curling into a ball around the pain as it grew in his stomach. "Kitty." He whined.

"What the hell did you do?" Tommy demanded, "I had to fly out here when Sarah called me all hysterical she was gonna lose her job because of you!"

"What?! Because of the brawl?" he exclaimed, "That's stupid I did this not her!"

"Yeah well get your fucking ass out of here and throw some money around until you fix things. I posted your bail so damn well move it!" he growled.

"Damn right I'm gonna." Adam grabbed his coat and slammed out of the room, "Where's the boy?"

"You aren't going anywhere near that little shit, you are going to back off before you make things any worse." Tommy warned, "Don't hurt her anymore then she already is. I've seen the state she is in, she doesn't need your shit right now on top of all of this. This is the biggest fuck up in the world, this could cost you everything and her as well. She doesn't wanna know you right now and to be perfectly honest neither do I. So go home, shower you stink and do what you need to."

Adam collected his phone and belongings from the front desk, speed dialing the director of the show. Barely even noticing that his lover had left without so much as a goodbye, he was in big trouble then. "We need to talk, meet me in an hour?" he asked. Addresses were passed, an agreement reached.

By the time Adam had showered and reached the bar the director was already there ordering them both virgin cocktails. "I think you need to cut back." He pointed out gently.

Adam agreed, "I do need to go on the wagon, control myself better. I have no excuse for what I did last night, it was completely unprofessional to lose it like I did in public."

"Chris has left the company, his attitude is unbecoming for a male lead. The understudy will be stepping into the role as of tonight." He commented.

"And Sarah? She shouldn't have to pay for my mistakes. I will do whatever it takes to fix this." Adam promised, "Just tell me what I need to do."

The director grinned, "Oh I think we can come to some sort of arrangement there."

Suddenly Lambert felt like he was signing his soul over to the devil as a dark chill entered his bones. He was deeply concerned, but knew even if it cost him his career this had to be fixed. It was high time he grew up and learned to be a man again.


	15. Chapter 15

Kiss Me Too Fiercely

Chapter 15

Sarah woke up in the morning feeling like death. She knew that her dreams were over, there was no way the show could continue after the opening night dramas. She didn't even want to look at the morning papers, what was the point? A year she had worked towards last night and now she was a nobody again. All she wanted to do was crawl back under the covers and die.

The phone rang and she fuzzily slapped it to her ear. "What?" Adam was whining away on the phone about jail, bail money and whatever and she was really seriously not in the mood for him. "Just shut the hell up! You Lambert, have just cost me my spotlight and my lover with you bullshit! So why the fuck should I help you?" She slammed the phone back down, swallowed a few aspirin and fell back into a deep sleep for a few hours longer.

Next thing she knew Tommy was shaking her awake, "Come on baby wake up now. It's a bright new day."

She grunted, "Nothing bright about it."

"You haven't seen the papers yet then?" he asked.

"Don't want to." She moaned.

"Fine, then I'm just gonna read it to you." He insisted.

"Oh just kill me already." She muttered.

"Female lead Sarah in the role of Elphaba stole centre stage tonight. A nothing, a nobody who has never starred in anything before tonight. We expected very little of her vocal talents, yet the second she opened her mouth we can see exactly why she was chosen to play against the iconic Adam Lambert in the role. We eagerly await a sneak peek of the pair rehursing together later this week. The beautiful harmonies they could create with their firey temperaments clashing. A marriage made in hell, but certainly it will make for some entertaining viewing." He read out waiting for a response, nothing happened, so he carried on reading.

"In other news a fight had to be broken up between Chris Lyons and Adam Lambert at an after party. The reason for this is still unclear, but since then Lyons has been removed from the cast. It also remains currently unclear as to whether he will be allowed to reprise the role later on after a cool down period." Tommy read.

Sarah moved and cuddled into his chest taking it all in. "They fired him because of Adam, of course they wouldn't fire the superstar twat."

"Hunni, it may just be short term so don't stress. Things will all work out I promise." He answered quietly, "And look at all these amazing reviews over your talents in every single paper. Pictures of you on the entertainment pages, look I brought you one of everything."

Sarah sat up and started rummaging through the reviews, shocked at the detailed content. "They really love me."

"We always knew you had this deep inside and now so do you. Sarah my love, your future is bright and full of exciting openings. Hell five years from now you could be touring the world with your own band, just like Adam!" he suggested.

She hugged him tightly, "I want you there with me through it all."

Tommy smiled, "Well I'm sure you need a sexy kitten guitarist in your new band."

"I've actually been writing some songs, but I'm not very good with music. Could you help me?" she asked.

Tommy broke into a broad grin, "There's nothing I'd enjoy more then to work with you. Tell me we can do something bluesy, nice creamy beat beneath your vocals, it would be just perfect! We could set up some studio time this week around your rehursals with sparkletwat. What about I go free the moron from jail and then we have a nice dinner in some fancy Italian, my treat, and we talk about it all?"

Sarah smiled, "Sounds perfect, I will bring my lyric book and let you look over it. Just don't tell him what we are doing, I don't want him to pull me down or interfere with my music. He's lost his way so much lately, I swear he doesn't even remember who he is anymore or where he came from. He's sold out to the record companies, to their own image of him, not his own style. Where's the guy who said I do and wear what I want so fuck you? The guy who shocked the world at the AMA's? Its like he died and left us with some One Direction reject." She sighed.

"Then it's high time we reminded him who he really is, not this drunken bum he is hiding away in." Tommy countered.

Sarah nodded, "Let the lets Fix Adam games begin."


End file.
